We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
