the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
