Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
