i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
