if you like me you must not know who I am
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
