My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
