While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
