Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
