At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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