Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
