I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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