One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You can't just leave with hair like that
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize