I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
