i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
