Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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