You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
