dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hippo gnu deer
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize