the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
