I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Randomize
