I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
