White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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