lets start a swedish sibling band together
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
