He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
