Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
