we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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