they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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