Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm like, not good at living.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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