The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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