Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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