i just made my gag reflex go away.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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