I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
