I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize