Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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