The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
