Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
