I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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