I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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