Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize