I'm so fucking centered right now
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
