u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
