there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
