Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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