fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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