? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
