I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
