my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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