we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize