that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i dont even know how to be here
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm at about main and main street
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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