Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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