i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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