I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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