belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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