you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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