the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
