where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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