Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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