literally had 100 drinks last night.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
