yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
