so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
