SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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