Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
