i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
