You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just cropdusted the office
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize
