i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
